Thursday, May 2, 2013

Getting Personal

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve spoke up about being in the restaurants and of course I’m filled to the brim with stories and little tid bits, but today I thought I would bring up something that irked me this morning. 

There is something sacred about being a server. Like any full time job you spend 40+ hours a week with the same people, and you form a brotherly bound with said people, hey they are your coworkers you should like them and it’s almost weird if you do not know about their lives outside of work. But, if working in the food industry has taught me anything it’s that being a server it goes to a whole new level. And by this I mean shit gets personal fast, in the most sexual manner possible. Now being openly gay puts me out there even more I can’t tell you how many times I have had to explain to my coworkers how lesbians have sex and why we do what we do. “No scissoring is more of a foreplay gig,” is said almost as much as , “Would like sweet or unsweet tea, sir?” One manager in particular took a liking to me over the summer of 2011, we would spend the majority of our shift talking about women and our sexual conquest. I knew when he had sex and how he had sex and vice versa for me. Other coworkers would stand and gawk over how explicit we would be, but generally would just shrug it off. Fuck it, most of them knew the size of our manager’s dick any way. Now in any other setting I’m fairly private and I like to keep my private life just that, but this guy intrigued me and the summer was a bit rough for me so I needed to just let shit go. My favorite thing he told me was that he lost his virginity at 12 after splitting a Coors Light with a neighbor girl, then later on his twenties that had a real fuck fest for about a month straight, I love a happy ending. But, like I said generally I’m a private person, so private that at one of the restaurants I work for most of my coworker did, or well didn’t know who my girlfriend was do to the fact the she was a former employee. We started seeing each other whilst she was employed, and I never thought it was anyone’s business to know about our relationship/ I was not about to put her on blast to our coworkers. Our coworkers being the type to want to know every little detail of one’s life down to who spits or swallows and etc and it was bad enough being the only lesbian there already, everyone always asking me the strangest questions:

“So, why do you like vagina?”
“ like want to be a boy right? date really pretty girls and have short hair. You’re obviously the boy right?”
“How can you cum if you don’t have dick? You haven’t even had an orgasm”

But my personal favorite so far has to be,”So, are you like going to be an old lesbian?”

Well, I am a young yes. 

So wanting to keep my budding relationship to my self and not share with these sex crazed coworkers of mine was a great choice. Today was the first time I worked at my Steak house in over a month and surprisingly I was confronted by two servers about how they were legitimately upset  that I never told them about my relationship. Saying things like how they thought we were friends and etc...I’m sorry but being friends on facebook does not grant you access to my fucking life. I just simply explained how I’m private and prefer to keep it that way. Then the prying starts.

“How long has this been going?”
“Are you her first girlfriend?”
“How many girls has she dated in the past?”
“Are you the butch?”

And so on but then this one statement just got to me: “I find it so weird that she’s with you, I know guys that she has been with.”

I just shrugged it off to them. I work there once a month at best, so I try my hardest to keep my mouth shut and head low. This fucking statement though. I’ve heard this my whole life, because for some reason people can not seem to understand that sexuality is fluid and people change. Could my girl have dated men before me? Sure, do I care? No. Have I asked her? Nope. There is this odd trait about me where I don’t really care about what you’ve done in the past, what matters is whats going on right now with us. And, presently I just so happen to be dating a really awesome girl whom might I add sought me out. 

Something happens when you put your apron on, you feel entitled to everything at your restaurant. And, I’m no innocent. I love hearing about how the first time you slept with your boyfriend you thought he only had one ball, or how a former trainer slept with three of the cooks. Shit gets scandalous and who doesn’t love a juicy story? But at what point can we draw the line in the sand and call it day? If I’m going out of my way to not tell you about my life, is that not a hint to just drop it? Not here in server land.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Climbing with Kevin

Before going on this shoot I had been toying with idea of how I wanted to just get crazy and climb a tree and start shooting. Then as Kevin and I are exploring through the dense brush we stumbled upon this tree and both of us just started climbing and having a grand ole time. Fabulous. 

Thursday, January 3, 2013


 Starting the New Year off with a cold and hanging with my dear friend Pammy. The best thing about Pammy is that she is just so gosh darn adorable, and  that she finds everyone to be handsome or beautiful so she gives out a big boost of self-esteem to oneself always.  It’s always nice to surround yourself with good vibes especially those of another artist, I always love seeing my friend’s work and sharing ideas with one another. So today as we ran through the jungles of the local thrift stores comparing books and photo memories I found myself capturing a wild Pammy in her most feared state: in front of a camera. Nearly after every click from my shutter I would see her cringe only to be followed with, “Shut up, you’re beautiful.”   

Taken by Pammy, edited by yours truly. 
"I just wish for this to be in style again."
The thing is like Pammy; I think everyone is beautiful and I just wish so much to show them that.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Service Nightmares

I was never prone to nightmares as a kid. Very rarely would I wake dripping in sweat and tears begging for my parent’s comfort, I can recall having possibly maybe two major nightmares as a kid to be honest. Though I have always had vivid dreams to the point where they felt real, so thankfully I was not cursed with night terrors. Though when I turned sixteen I got my first job as cashier at a backwoods grocery store and that’s when I started having service nightmares.

They’d start off as if I was working a normal shift at the grocery store. Scanning items while playfully bantering between the baggers, and soft 90’s music playing in the background, and then it would shift. The conveyer belt would speed up throwing groceries at me faster than I could scan; old women would start screaming at me while making it rain coupons and checks. My world would start spinning into a cashier’s living hell…then I would wake up clutching my alarm clock praying that I had not over slept for work only to realize I had fifteen minutes to get work.

My nightmares would continually get worse until I started a new job and then my sick subconscious would find new ways to torture me.  The worst of my nightmares came from working at Katz’s, which is almost to be expected seeing how just working there was a living nightmare. Sixty to eighty hour work weeks, long shifts without breaks, unnervingly busy with a client base that were ungodly fabulous and in turn that made you want to jam your fist down your throat. The shortest shift at Katz’s was maybe 8 hours long and the longest being a little over 19 hours, an average shift for me was probably around 13 hours; then you would be expected to be back within the next 4-6 hours for your next shift. This wasn’t all the time just a good 85% of the time.  Sleep for me was a precious thing; I unlike the other servers did not partake in recreational pharmaceuticals to get me through the days, so when I came home I passed out. There were times where I didn’t even have the chance to fully undress before I was asleep. The nightmares for Katz’s were always the same, we would on a two hour plus wait, under staffed and I’m running on nothing. I would sneak away to storage to catch my breath and fall asleep, only to wake up to being tripled sat and the restaurant would just be burning to the ground because no one could possibly keep up any more. But in the midst of the nightmare I would spring forward awake clutching my phone thinking it was my check presenter. In the darkness of my room I would still think I was at Katz’s, and it wouldn’t be until I ran out my room ready to catch up my orders that I realized I was twenty minutes away and safe at home.  I’d stand in the hall between my roommate’s room and mine and begin to cry from exhaustion and stress that I was suffering.  The nightmares involving Katz’s would happen constantly and always ending with me waking in panic that I fell asleep in the storage room.  What a fucking sad existence I lived.

My current job is at a steakhouse, so my nightmares now generally involve the steaks not being prepared right and me rushing the kitchen to fix the order. I tossed and turned all last night over an undercooked NY Strip only to have my table to leave to go to Case Ole.  The worst thing about dreaming about work is waking up stressed out; I legitimately woke up scared and stressed that I was going to get in trouble over fucking up my table 47’s NY Strip.  

I’ll end on with a quote from a fellow server on Service Nightmares: “Restaurant nightmares are the worst! Especially the ones where you’re running food naked and you drop all the food on your dick.” 

Friday, December 28, 2012

The Service Industry

When I was a kid I wanted nothing more than to work at Olive Garden solely for the fact that the servers wore ties. I had high goals for myself. For some reason I always had this interesting idolization of servers all throughout my pubescent years as well, mainly I thought almost all my servers were hot and I’d let my food grow cold as I day dreamed over them. I was a weird kid and had a thing for beards.  So now I’m on the better half of 21 working my third serving job and I like to think of myself as a seasoned veteran when it comes to the food industry.

My personal check book. The Dark Lord gets me through the nights.

Now see there are two types of servers:
-“I’m just trying to get through…( School; probably culinary or law. Or they are in debt.)
I’m this Server, I’m young and eager to work and generally happy to just make a tip. But deep down I hate everyone from the kitchen staff to the clerk at Walgreens that sold me my Redbull. I don’t make enough money for rent so I can’t even make it to school, but I keep telling everyone that this is a temporary fix because I refuse to believe that I will be a server for much longer.  Sometimes we get really stressed and start to sing the looped music at said restaurant. Till this day you’ll catch me singing ‘Footloose’ through frustrated sighs and it’s been nearly a year since I’ve left Katz’s.
The second type of servers is split into two categories and you can tell them apart by if they have a DUI or not. They really don’t say much and they’re generally in their late 30’s but look at least 50. The drugs and booze have worn them down and they can recite the history of their restaurant in their sleep.  Now back to the whether or not they have a DUI, the ones with are pieces of shit the ones with out are pretty chill aint no hate for them.  
                DUIs and servers; generally when being interviewed for a restaurant they ask you questions like about your experiences and if you have a car or not and that’s as deep as it gets. Maybe they’ll run a background check on you for theft charges but even then that’s a big maybe.  So to those lost souls out there that spent their twenties drinking and doping it up this industry is perfect for them. Cash is always a flow, discounted food, and nobody seems to notice their drugs charges.  I once worked with a man whom was constantly snorting meth and  through his shift go through tiny burst of energy running around and singing to people but then he’d just stop and become crazy. He once told a fellow server he was going to knock him out with a spoon all while shaking a teaspoon at him. What is nice about the drug users though is that they always have candy on them, seems to be a common occurrence in rehabs that the former users trade out their addictions with gummy worms and chocolate. The not so nice parts are that you cannot trust them, they’ll make up elaborate stories to gain a quick buck or to get out of work, making up deaths or robberies but really they are just fucking pill heads. I learned this the hard way by lending a woman $80 bucks to help her go see her daughter, I felt for her but I sure stopped after the truth came out and I never saw my money again. One day I’ll compile a list of the insane stories regarding all the mishaps I dealt with when it came to working in my personal hell that is known as Katz’s Deli.

For now though consider this a mere intro to what is saga of Industry Stories. 

*Katz's has three different types of music they play:
5am- 10am: Smooth jazz
10am-8pm: Top 40 pop 
8pm-5am: 80's pop

Sunday, September 2, 2012


Last week I had the idea to climb a water tower for a photoshoot, and the first person that came to mind for this particular idea was Jayme.  The idea of scaling this huge tower churns my stomach and makes my palms sweat, but gosh darnit I want these shots so I was going to do it. We woke up at 5am and drove down to Willis, Tx, only to find the specific water tower we wanted was right next to the police station and really unstable looking. We headed over to a different tower, pictures below, which had a gate as solid as a rock and there was no way we were getting it.  Thus we decided to run around the forest and have a photo venture anyway. 

This dog, wanted to rip my face off. While Jayme sat in the flowers being a Cabbage Patch kid this little nugget growled and bucked up at me. 

Wednesday, August 22, 2012


I spent a good while trying to come up with a little something to write about my subject today. But words don’t even start to describe this girl. Rogers and I have the closest relationship that I have ever had with anyone, and it happened almost immediately. Recently she shaved her head GI Jane style, and I’ve just been itching to have a photo session with her. And today we knocked it out of the park.

I use to be really bad about taking maybe 20-30  photos during shoots and maybe ending up with three good shots. As of late I've been taking 100+ in each shoot..I also feel like with each shoot I'm growing so much more. Like I'm getting a second wind with my photo-process and it feels so amazing. Seeing progression with each shot just makes my heart smile, and makes inspiration come so much easier.