It’s been a hot minute since I’ve spoke up about being in the restaurants and of course I’m filled to the brim with stories and little tid bits, but today I thought I would bring up something that irked me this morning.
There is something sacred about being a server. Like any full time job you spend 40+ hours a week with the same people, and you form a brotherly bound with said people, hey they are your coworkers you should like them and it’s almost weird if you do not know about their lives outside of work. But, if working in the food industry has taught me anything it’s that being a server it goes to a whole new level. And by this I mean shit gets personal fast, in the most sexual manner possible. Now being openly gay puts me out there even more I can’t tell you how many times I have had to explain to my coworkers how lesbians have sex and why we do what we do. “No scissoring is more of a foreplay gig,” is said almost as much as , “Would like sweet or unsweet tea, sir?” One manager in particular took a liking to me over the summer of 2011, we would spend the majority of our shift talking about women and our sexual conquest. I knew when he had sex and how he had sex and vice versa for me. Other coworkers would stand and gawk over how explicit we would be, but generally would just shrug it off. Fuck it, most of them knew the size of our manager’s dick any way. Now in any other setting I’m fairly private and I like to keep my private life just that, but this guy intrigued me and the summer was a bit rough for me so I needed to just let shit go. My favorite thing he told me was that he lost his virginity at 12 after splitting a Coors Light with a neighbor girl, then later on his twenties that had a real fuck fest for about a month straight, I love a happy ending. But, like I said generally I’m a private person, so private that at one of the restaurants I work for most of my coworker did, or well didn’t know who my girlfriend was do to the fact the she was a former employee. We started seeing each other whilst she was employed, and I never thought it was anyone’s business to know about our relationship/ I was not about to put her on blast to our coworkers. Our coworkers being the type to want to know every little detail of one’s life down to who spits or swallows and etc and it was bad enough being the only lesbian there already, everyone always asking me the strangest questions:
“So, why do you like vagina?”
“So...you like want to be a boy right? Because...you date really pretty girls and have short hair. You’re obviously the boy right?”
“How can you cum if you don’t have dick? You haven’t even had an orgasm”
But my personal favorite so far has to be,”So, are you like going to be an old lesbian?”
Well, I am a young lesbian...so yes.
So wanting to keep my budding relationship to my self and not share with these sex crazed coworkers of mine was a great choice. Today was the first time I worked at my Steak house in over a month and surprisingly I was confronted by two servers about how they were legitimately upset that I never told them about my relationship. Saying things like how they thought we were friends and etc...I’m sorry but being friends on facebook does not grant you access to my fucking life. I just simply explained how I’m private and prefer to keep it that way. Then the prying starts.
“How long has this been going?”
“Are you her first girlfriend?”
“How many girls has she dated in the past?”
“Are you the butch?”
And so on but then this one statement just got to me: “I find it so weird that she’s with you, I know guys that she has been with.”
I just shrugged it off to them. I work there once a month at best, so I try my hardest to keep my mouth shut and head low. This fucking statement though. I’ve heard this my whole life, because for some reason people can not seem to understand that sexuality is fluid and people change. Could my girl have dated men before me? Sure, do I care? No. Have I asked her? Nope. There is this odd trait about me where I don’t really care about what you’ve done in the past, what matters is whats going on right now with us. And, presently I just so happen to be dating a really awesome girl whom might I add sought me out.
Something happens when you put your apron on, you feel entitled to everything at your restaurant. And, I’m no innocent. I love hearing about how the first time you slept with your boyfriend you thought he only had one ball, or how a former trainer slept with three of the cooks. Shit gets scandalous and who doesn’t love a juicy story? But at what point can we draw the line in the sand and call it day? If I’m going out of my way to not tell you about my life, is that not a hint to just drop it? Not here in server land.